Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize