Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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