Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
