i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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