This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
