First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize