he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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