You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize