I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
