Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
