Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
