What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
