if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
