Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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