rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
