dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize