Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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