my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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