OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
