its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you mean i was at the winter classic?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
