dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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