i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Randomize
