Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
