The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Randomize
