So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Ketchup is God's man juice
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
