That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
did i just pee glitter
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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