He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
then he tried to convert me to islam
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
