Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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