Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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