Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I feel like a drive thru vagina
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
