i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
