i permit you to call me
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
