You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
