I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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