Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
