whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
the condom got lost in my hair
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
false alarm. still invincible.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize