I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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