sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
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