Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
