dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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