You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
