idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
