chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
birth control should be required to get into college
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You ate ashes out of my bong
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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