I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Damn victory sex feels great
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize