I need help removing her.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
