that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
