So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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