I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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