I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
