apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
