How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
