things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
