i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
