Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
