By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
